8.27.2007
Hooray!
Kayne West is bad as hell.
Kanye famously believes that George W. Bush hates black people.
Thusly, in celebration of the end of the political career of the second of GWB's most thuggish cronies, I send you a white guy in a tractor and a bathrobe doin' Kanye's "Stronger".
Unh!
8.26.2007
Saturday Brunch
The Nice Jenkins were in town for gigs at Buskwick's Goodbye Blue Monday and The Ocatgon's CD release party tour which consisted entirely of last night's show and no CDs. Sandwiched between was a day of dinsoaurs and a night of bourbon dancing that spat me out on Saturday's sweaty sidewalks in Chelsea, which happen to be packed with brunch offerings. Deathray and I decided on a joint named Fiddlesticks.
Benedict: 3.5
The eggs were overcooked and the hollandaise was simply there. Big bland potatoes that were required a good deal of ketchup. The saving grace was the bread basket we were brought. A heavy, grainy semi-sweet bread that's baked fresh every day, it was the saving grace of the meal.
Bloody: 2
Whatever. Two drinks included with a dish sounded too good to be true these certainly lived down to that notion. Served in 10 oz. glasses with old celery, the mix was weak and thoughtless with a negligible amount of booze to go along with it. The "2" is because they both deserve a "1".
Service: 4.5
This may be the only time I give this score as long as the brunches I eat are served to me anywhere in New York City. Yes, folks - the 5 boroughs are, in my limited experience, home to the worst servers in the universe, whose open disdain for you and their profession is almost worth 18% sheerly for the audacity with which both are displayed.
However, our server Alisa was both attentive and friendly. Granted, we were her only table, but she wrote "Thanks, Darling" on my check and told me that she liked my wallet and sat down and didn't freak out when Deathray exhibited her dance moves, which call to mind an infant chipmunk mid-seizure.
Why no "5"? Gotta have my dogs in the tub for that shit.
Price: 4.5
$10. Awesome.
Why no "5"? See above. And free.
Remember kids, brunch is as much about who you're with and what you remember from the previous 12 hours as the food. So - I found a great place to sit outside and be near-broke at. And while I think Deathray gets her name from what it's like to try and listen to her over a meal, she does girls everywhere a great service by providing that wonderful signpost they can point to and say, "Well at least I'm not that crazy."
Fiddlesticks
56 Greenwich Avenue
New York, NY 10011
212 463-0516
Benedict: 3.5
The eggs were overcooked and the hollandaise was simply there. Big bland potatoes that were required a good deal of ketchup. The saving grace was the bread basket we were brought. A heavy, grainy semi-sweet bread that's baked fresh every day, it was the saving grace of the meal.
Bloody: 2
Whatever. Two drinks included with a dish sounded too good to be true these certainly lived down to that notion. Served in 10 oz. glasses with old celery, the mix was weak and thoughtless with a negligible amount of booze to go along with it. The "2" is because they both deserve a "1".
Service: 4.5
This may be the only time I give this score as long as the brunches I eat are served to me anywhere in New York City. Yes, folks - the 5 boroughs are, in my limited experience, home to the worst servers in the universe, whose open disdain for you and their profession is almost worth 18% sheerly for the audacity with which both are displayed.
However, our server Alisa was both attentive and friendly. Granted, we were her only table, but she wrote "Thanks, Darling" on my check and told me that she liked my wallet and sat down and didn't freak out when Deathray exhibited her dance moves, which call to mind an infant chipmunk mid-seizure.
Why no "5"? Gotta have my dogs in the tub for that shit.
Price: 4.5
$10. Awesome.
Why no "5"? See above. And free.
Remember kids, brunch is as much about who you're with and what you remember from the previous 12 hours as the food. So - I found a great place to sit outside and be near-broke at. And while I think Deathray gets her name from what it's like to try and listen to her over a meal, she does girls everywhere a great service by providing that wonderful signpost they can point to and say, "Well at least I'm not that crazy."
Fiddlesticks
56 Greenwich Avenue
New York, NY 10011
212 463-0516
8.20.2007
Let The Good Times Roll
This video was taken right in front of my old subway stop right before a huge rainstorm stopped the show on the first day of summer. Everyone there got very wet, but the band played straight through stopping only when the power was pulled on them.
The name of this band is Cheeseburger, and I would like to nominate their debut self-titled album as one of the greatest of all times. Most songs are conveniently played in the same key with, even more conveniently, the exact same three chords!Cheeseburger. Awesome.
Right, guy?
8.14.2007
Mariachi Mania
We here at The 'Mania try to keep it light with the same gusto that we try to keep it real. The last thing America needs to do when fires up the ol' World Wide Interweb is be confronted by a Wookie.
But fuck this bitch.
Sorry. Let's lighten the mood with a little prayer. I'm sure the pictured would oblige. And just to make sure, let's make sure we all pray this to a Protestant god.
"Good god in heaven I pray today that in your humblest of humbilities your almighty sword of righteousness split this woman's heart with a massive coronary. And Lord, hear my prayer to let her soulless body still be warm in the ground when a hard-working, American Dream-worshiping, contributing-to-the-beautiful-quilt-of-our-society family of Honduran immigrants closes on a mortgage to buy her house with.
"May the children of this family go to the same schools the woman in this picture's children went to. May they play on the same suburban streets and sing the songs their parents taught them in Spanish directly over the grassy hillsides under which this shrew will be interned.
"We ask this in your name, Lord. Amen."
Gosh. That's way better than the pledge of allegiance.
For the Washington Post article in which this picture is featured, click here.
8.09.2007
Scary Shit
Keep reading. This is not it.
+
Ever seen a blind person smoke a cigarette? It weirds me way out.
What the fuck kind of sense does that make?
They can't see how cool they look. They can't see people instantly respecting them for their danger.
If scientists and my comic books agree, then these renegade blinds (definitely the preferred nomenclature, dude) must think cigarettes smell REALLY great in their clothes and hair.
Maybe there's a scent contained in cigarettes that your average sighty can't wrap his olfactory around and it's the most blissful thing in the universe.
Perhaps it's a million praying mantises all doing tai chi while humming a three-part harmony of "American Tune" around the bed you awake in next to this girl on top of the Sound of Music mountain still pretty drunk on a Sunday as she whispers, "Do you like brunch?" in your ear:
Yes, yes. That must be it.
8.06.2007
Brunch-ish
So.
About this whole "brunch" thing. As stated, I love me some brunch. I feel there is no finer repast than that which brunch provides. And while lack of flexibility has long been one of my defining characteristics, consistency is not, and one must recognize the difference.
No brunch Saturday. Woke up late, had to run errands.
That led The Kid and me to ride over the bridge (which reopens its dedicated bike lane today) Saturday afternoon which turned into The Kid and me drinking giant beers and meeting these girls and going to dinner and going out dancing and not making it home that evening.
I knew a Sunday brunch was going to be tough all week because I had very concrete plans at 1:00PM.
But I did have a brunch of sorts, so let's let the 'Mania begin:
The 86th St. 4-5-6 Stop
86th st. and Lexington Ave.
New York, NY
The place was pretty crowded when I arrived, but luckily I was alone, so it was pretty easy to find room for myself. The hostess must have been having a smoke or seating someone else as I never saw her. Let me tell you - this place was dirty. It looked like the floors hadn't had a good scrubbing in at least a couple of days!!!
To be honest, the joint seemed a little touristy, too with many obvious ones holding shopping bags and the like. What's funny is that no one really seemed to be eating. Like, no one. Then I think I found the reason why: A saw a rat!!! I saw it scurrying and almost lost my lunch, until I realized that I still hadn't seen the waiter!!!
That was enough for me, so I took the next subway train to a place in The Bronx that I've heard really good things about.
Benedict (0 of 5)
What the fuck is this? This place doesn't serve eggs? It's a good thing I had those two big-sized Sapporros at the last place.
Bloody (0 of 5)
What the fuck is this? This place only serves beer? Didn't I have to deal with this a couple weeks ago? For christ and all the angels, am I going to have to drink a light fucking beer for brunch?!?!? Alcoholics drink beer at this time of day! Brunch is the only meal that allows you to booze and eat midday without worrying those around you that you're alone in your apartment sopping up mouthwash and cooking sherry.
I decided to try one, just this once, telling myself it was a native custom and I remember not to look down upon the indigenous.
Apparently it is also their custom to have not one but several beers for this ritual. When in Bronx, right?
Service (3 of 5)
The host was pretty cool and got me to my seat quickly. It's really weird how they serve the food here. You don't have one waiter. There are a whole bunch of them (and not a single cute waitress) that serve each menu item individually. That is, if there is a menu. Nobody brought me one.
Price (1 of 5)
Am I the only one who finds it odd that I paid a cover to get in to this place? And $9.00 for a "big" beer? Lunacy.
I can't score the place well based on any of the 'Mania's very inflexible criteria, but I can reliably say that, for some reason, I felt drawn to the place and will probably end up going back.
Yankee Stadium
161st Street & River Avenue
Bronx, NY 10451
Open 82 days a year - Hours Vary
gsteinbrenner@hotmail.com
About this whole "brunch" thing. As stated, I love me some brunch. I feel there is no finer repast than that which brunch provides. And while lack of flexibility has long been one of my defining characteristics, consistency is not, and one must recognize the difference.
No brunch Saturday. Woke up late, had to run errands.
That led The Kid and me to ride over the bridge (which reopens its dedicated bike lane today) Saturday afternoon which turned into The Kid and me drinking giant beers and meeting these girls and going to dinner and going out dancing and not making it home that evening.
I knew a Sunday brunch was going to be tough all week because I had very concrete plans at 1:00PM.
But I did have a brunch of sorts, so let's let the 'Mania begin:
The 86th St. 4-5-6 Stop86th st. and Lexington Ave.
New York, NY
The place was pretty crowded when I arrived, but luckily I was alone, so it was pretty easy to find room for myself. The hostess must have been having a smoke or seating someone else as I never saw her. Let me tell you - this place was dirty. It looked like the floors hadn't had a good scrubbing in at least a couple of days!!!
To be honest, the joint seemed a little touristy, too with many obvious ones holding shopping bags and the like. What's funny is that no one really seemed to be eating. Like, no one. Then I think I found the reason why: A saw a rat!!! I saw it scurrying and almost lost my lunch, until I realized that I still hadn't seen the waiter!!!
That was enough for me, so I took the next subway train to a place in The Bronx that I've heard really good things about.
Benedict (0 of 5)What the fuck is this? This place doesn't serve eggs? It's a good thing I had those two big-sized Sapporros at the last place.
Bloody (0 of 5)
What the fuck is this? This place only serves beer? Didn't I have to deal with this a couple weeks ago? For christ and all the angels, am I going to have to drink a light fucking beer for brunch?!?!? Alcoholics drink beer at this time of day! Brunch is the only meal that allows you to booze and eat midday without worrying those around you that you're alone in your apartment sopping up mouthwash and cooking sherry.
I decided to try one, just this once, telling myself it was a native custom and I remember not to look down upon the indigenous.
Apparently it is also their custom to have not one but several beers for this ritual. When in Bronx, right?
Service (3 of 5)
The host was pretty cool and got me to my seat quickly. It's really weird how they serve the food here. You don't have one waiter. There are a whole bunch of them (and not a single cute waitress) that serve each menu item individually. That is, if there is a menu. Nobody brought me one.
Price (1 of 5)
Am I the only one who finds it odd that I paid a cover to get in to this place? And $9.00 for a "big" beer? Lunacy.
I can't score the place well based on any of the 'Mania's very inflexible criteria, but I can reliably say that, for some reason, I felt drawn to the place and will probably end up going back.
Yankee Stadium
161st Street & River Avenue
Bronx, NY 10451
Open 82 days a year - Hours Vary
gsteinbrenner@hotmail.com
8.02.2007
All Better
And all it took was entering my favorite line from my favorite TV program into Google Image Search:
"Rochelle"
What could be better than that, you ask?
These lovelies, that's what.
"Rochelle"
What could be better than that, you ask?
These lovelies, that's what.
The Redskins Make Me Want to Hurt Myself, Doctor
ESPN.com's list of the 50 current players likely to be headed to the Hall of Fame includes no Redskins.
It's a great read, even when it gets a little speculative in the late 30's. It's lack of 'Skins-clusion is a bummer, but it doesn't warrant any outrage from this furball.
........Whoa...Just went looking for a good picture of LaVar, who could have been our guy had his knee held, and I stumbled upon this article. It's Sports Illustrated's take on the 2000 draft. The words "Superbowl Contender" and "Norv Turner" will never appear that close together ever again.
Then I really vomited: "...owner Dan Snyder celebrated his first NFL draft by lighting a cigar, crossing his legs and propping his feet on the desk."
It's August and I'm not even that pumped. Don't know who's on the schedule this year. I don't know if these fancy Brooklyn brunch places will even have TVs, let alone ones they can/will turn to 'Skins games.
Boo-hoo for Chew. E.
It's a great read, even when it gets a little speculative in the late 30's. It's lack of 'Skins-clusion is a bummer, but it doesn't warrant any outrage from this furball.
........Whoa...Just went looking for a good picture of LaVar, who could have been our guy had his knee held, and I stumbled upon this article. It's Sports Illustrated's take on the 2000 draft. The words "Superbowl Contender" and "Norv Turner" will never appear that close together ever again.
Then I really vomited: "...owner Dan Snyder celebrated his first NFL draft by lighting a cigar, crossing his legs and propping his feet on the desk."
It's August and I'm not even that pumped. Don't know who's on the schedule this year. I don't know if these fancy Brooklyn brunch places will even have TVs, let alone ones they can/will turn to 'Skins games.
Boo-hoo for Chew. E.
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