Finally....

Upon returning from yet another hibernation that (as no great surprise to friends and associates of the editor-in-chief) came on suddenly, was uninterruptable, and lasted longer than one would assume it would, I have become fascinated by the YouTube.

Having begun to recieve several videos a week from my colleagues, I began using the service's search engine. As the below post-hibernation posts show, I am now slightly obssessed. Super.

However, it dawned upon me that I had yet to engage the search engine with the most important strain of all: Wookies.



The Lord giveth; The Lord taketh away.

Methinks I'm due for some severe take-awayething.

The Sexiest Song Ever Written

As performed by the greatest band on the planet.

Rearn Engrish

Watch the entire video. Madness ensues.

Manbearpig Spottings Wanted

Check this out.

For those of you who do obey when commanded library-style, ABC News wants you to send them eyewitness accounts of global warming. Eyewitness accounts of a phenomenom most closely identified with the melting of the polar ice caps. An everyday yarn. Like how a pattern of worldwide temperature increase has made your ice melt, well, just a little faster than it did when you were a youngster. Everybody seems just a little, well, taller than they did back then, too.

There is no proof of global warming.

Here is a chart of the record high and low temperatures by month and the cities in which they recorded for The Commonwealth of Virginia.

Feb.	84	1950	Clarksville	–30	1985	Mt. Lake Biological Station
March	87	1932	Roanoke	–29	1899	Monterey
April	96	1907	Arvonia	–15	1914	Burkes Garden
May	100	1925	Hopewell	0	1982	Floyd
June	105	1970	St. Paul*	15	1986	Marion
July	107	1934	Lincoln	26	1930	Burkes Garden
Aug.	110	1954	Balcony Falls	31	1926	Burkes Garden
Sept.	109	1983	Colonial Beach	31	1986	Big Meadows*
Oct.	108	1932	Lincoln	20	1989	Mt. Lake Biological Station
Nov.	101	1941	Walkerton	9	1952	Burkes Garden
Dec.	91	1971	Chincoteague Wildlife Refuge	–3	1970	Partlow
	85	1998	Colonial Beach	–27	1917	Blacksburg*

Here are some mean temperatures in Farenheit for Virginia as provided by The NCDC

1901 - 53.7
1911 - 56
1921 - 57.6
1931 - 56.9
1941 - 56.1
1951 - 55.7
1961 - 55
1971 - 55.4
1981 - 53.9
1991 - 57.2
2001 - 55.7

The average of this sample? 55.7F

So how has global warming affected me? I drink more now...I guess because it's hotter.

The World Cup Will Do This to You...

Steve: it's on
and fuck ghana
Sent at 11:35 PM on Wednesday
me: in a couple hours
until then...they're in no need of fucking, i'm sure
that's their main export isn't it?
Steve: i'm trying to get you pumped
me: I've got three women from Ghana under my desk right now for that
Steve: i expected no less
Sent at 11:41 PM on Wednesday
me: Those Italians are gonna choke, though
you know it
Like a Fiat on a hill
Steve: all we have to do is win by 5
easy
me: if we win and the Czechs lose, we're in, no?
Steve: yeah, but if win by 5 we don't have to rely on the italians
we win, that is
me: thanks, Dr. Tanner
Steve: i try to keep you informed
me: but the italians still have to try, because if they tie, and the Ghananananas beat us, then by goals, the Ghaneseians and the Czechs are in, no?
Steve: I think if we don't beat ghana it doesn't matter, we're out
me: No...we must beat the Ghanarians
Steve: if we somehow tie someone in points and goal differential though, it's decided by lots
how lame is that shit
me: lots?
makes me long for real football
Steve: yeah, we don't pull that shit here
i say settle it with a good old fashioned cage match
me: with nuclear weapons
ooooops! sorry Ghana.....
Steve: we win the only games that matter....war
me: and Iron Chef
Steve: yes, of course
Sent at 11:48 PM on Wed