Budweiser

Budweiser rules. The people who sell it rule. That f*cking eagle rules, too, which is pretty great because as a general rule I hate eagles.

For example, it got me so 2002 drunk the other night that my friends were all "Whoa, duder. You never get like this," as I partied on. Bud pitchers at the bowling alley are only $7 bucks, and with $1 games, you can party all night on just a couple bucks!!!

I know that the logo over there isn't just for Budweiser, and that it represents a lot of beers that are not Budweiser. It even stands for stuff like Bacardi Silver coolers and stuff, which are OK if you're a 14 year old who wants to get drunk or the older dude who wants to make that happen never OK in any situation.

So this weekend, if you decide to be cool and come party with The Nice Jenkins, who party like this guy , drink Budweiser. If you don't - drink Bud anyway and thank Jesus your parents went to college.