I'm serious as a heart attack about this sh*t.
Outside of various clutch grabs in Madden '03-'06 vs. the Philadelphia Eagles, I don't think I've ever seen this guy catch a pass.
Holy God in f*cking heaven.
Finally - Mark Brunell, Santana Moss, Chris Cooley, Shawn Taylor, Joe Gibbs, Shawn Springs, LaVar, Joe Gibbs and a lot of other guys on this football team are really fun to watch.
And this guy Royal, who has been ripping my colon through my throat for f*cking years now, goes and drops three passes.
...
Go 'Skins.
NOTE: Wookiemania (TM) and its editors sincerely hope that:
a) Our audience understands the term "tongue and cheek" when reading about various acts of violence that individual contributors may or may not want to carry out on real persons, who probably do copious amounts of community service in and around the Washington D.C. area
b) Robert Royal has a happy and productive rest of his life, as long as it's lived out for another team. Preferably the Cowboys.
11.28.2005
11.11.2005
Let The Jenkins Roll Ya
The Nice Jenkins, a musical group of great import and character, will be playing the final show of their 7 city, 10 day tour of the Eastern Seaboard on Sunday night in Charlottesville at Atomic Burrito. They will be joined, as has become customary, by the warrior clan Truman Sparks (and You Are F*cked) - defenders of Trog.
When this tour was being planned, one of the musicians involved confided in me that he felt it appropriate for a band to travel only if they are missed and then welcomed home triumphantly. You, Mr. non-musician, have a duty to musicians and thusly to their wants. Consider yourself lucky. Last thing this guy asked for took some poor schlep 3 months to finish, was over 16 feet high, and was made almost entirely out of giraffe sh*t. Almost.
For any readers in Philly or DC, check the powerhouse at the Vaudville Cafe (tonite) or (and) The Grog & Tankard (tomorrow nite). Check your local listings for show times.
When this tour was being planned, one of the musicians involved confided in me that he felt it appropriate for a band to travel only if they are missed and then welcomed home triumphantly. You, Mr. non-musician, have a duty to musicians and thusly to their wants. Consider yourself lucky. Last thing this guy asked for took some poor schlep 3 months to finish, was over 16 feet high, and was made almost entirely out of giraffe sh*t. Almost.
For any readers in Philly or DC, check the powerhouse at the Vaudville Cafe (tonite) or (and) The Grog & Tankard (tomorrow nite). Check your local listings for show times.
11.07.2005
Dear Mom - I'm a Crack Addict
But it's not my fault.
You see, there's a epidemic in smallish Southern towns whose names begin with a "Ch", and it's called "Ingestion of a Substance Owing to a Kantankerous, Elderly Rapscallion Owner of Crack Cocaine".
Mother, ISMOKEROCC is hitting our streets like a like our streets were a prizefighter named Sally. While different than that one time that 'Sis tried pole dancing (Hey! In a club, with lots of other men watching...Don't be gross) to pay for "college", ISMOKEROCC is more soul-corroding because it bypasses free will entirely and involves putting a delicious crack pipe in your mouth.
Don't believe me? Think that I'm making this sh*t up? I'm not.
And I need, like, $4,962.62
Tomorrow.
For books.
You see, there's a epidemic in smallish Southern towns whose names begin with a "Ch", and it's called "Ingestion of a Substance Owing to a Kantankerous, Elderly Rapscallion Owner of Crack Cocaine".
Mother, ISMOKEROCC is hitting our streets like a like our streets were a prizefighter named Sally. While different than that one time that 'Sis tried pole dancing (Hey! In a club, with lots of other men watching...Don't be gross) to pay for "college", ISMOKEROCC is more soul-corroding because it bypasses free will entirely and involves putting a delicious crack pipe in your mouth.
Don't believe me? Think that I'm making this sh*t up? I'm not.
And I need, like, $4,962.62
Tomorrow.
For books.
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