Don't Worry

Be crazy.

And a little bit sweet, I guess.

Helps to have a bizillion dollars, though...

No New Posts Posts?!? Brah...Where's The Love?

Right here, guy.

Black

Louis Chude-Sokei's article in today's LA Times "Redefining 'Black'" separates my man Brack-O Bama from the section of the population defined as African American.

Brack's father is from Africa. But his mother is as white as can be. This would drop him in the "mixed" category. Same as Tiger Woods. I'm sure that it was easy to pitch him as spokesman to the board of American Express, right?

I understand that the common usage of the word "African American" refers to "an ethnic group in the United States whose ancestors, usually in predominant part, were indigenous to Sub-Saharan Africa...(and who) descend primarily from enslaved Africans brought to the United States, especially the American South, between 1565 and 1807." (Thanks, Wikipedia)

Doesn't my man's one degree of separation from The Motherland define him better as an African American? Tell Jimmy O'Bannon, a Boston native whose father was an immigrant to this country that he's not an Irish American. F*ck...tell him he's not Irish. When the paramedics finish removing the pint glass shards from your stupid face, call me, so I can tell you about your stupid face again. People's ancestry, before ten or twenty years ago when a white college professor decided that "black" was a negative term (it's NOT), used to define the prefix of their Americanness.

Chude-Sokei uses the above definition for African Americans in his article, but refers to all other immigrants of a dark persuasion "black". So - Jamaican Americans are black. Jamaicans who's ancestry tells the same stories of people being ripped from the same villages in Western African and taken East on the same ships, with a generation or two stopping in Kingston before settling in Queens, are different than their neighbors whose great grandfathers were taken a stop farther to Charleston. They are black immigrants to this country.

Huh?

BOB is blacker than me. He's blacker, certainly, than most of the people whose houses I hung out at in Alexandria, VA. For those people for whom their potential vote for him hinges on his "blackness", I would offer that not supporting him for his supposed lack of it may ruin any chance to vote for a President who has "more."

Two Great Tastes

That don't necessarily taste bad together...Enjoy your weekend.

Thanks to Prof. Slant for the tip.

Still Reading

I Love 'Roo

The Police • Tool • Widespread Panic • The White Stripes • Ben Harper & the Innocent Criminals • Wilco • The Flaming Lips • MANU CHAO Radio Bemba Sound System • The String Cheese Incident • Franz Ferdinand • Bob Weir & Ratdog • Damien Rice • Ween • Gov't Mule • Ziggy Marley • The Decemberists • Kings of Leon • Michael Franti & Spearhead • Wolfmother • Regina Spektor • The Black Keys • Galactic • DJ Shadow • Gillian Welch • Spoon • Keller Williams (WMD'S) • Sasha & John Digweed • STS9 • Old Crow Medicine Show • The Hold Steady • Lily Allen • North Mississippi Allstars • Fountains Of Wayne • Hot Tuna • Feist • Hot Chip • John Butler Trio • Ralph Stanley & the Clinch Mountain Boys • Aesop Rock • The Richard Thompson Band • Dierks Bentley • James Blood Ulmer • Xavier Rudd • Gogol Bordello • Junior Brown • Tortoise • T-Bone Burnett • Mavis Staples • Clutch • Cold War Kids • Dr. Dog • Paolo Nutini • Brazilian Girls • RX Bandits • The Nightwatchman • The Slip • Girl Talk • Railroad Earth • Martha Wainwright • Rodrigo y Gabriela • Annuals • Tea Leaf Green • Sam Roberts Band • Elvis Perkins in Dearland • Charlie Louvin • Sonya Kitchell • Mute Math • Apollo Sunshine • Uncle Earl • The National • The Little Ones • Black Angels • Ryan Shaw • Lewis Black & Friends • Dave Attell • David Cross
__________________________________________________________________
David Cross at Bonnaroo would make the $150 ticket worth it, honestly. Thanks to the good people at Starr Hill Beer, The King of All Wookies will not only be there, but will have all of the access.

***To shill for my sponsors quickly, but honestly - Starr Hill is good f*cking beer. The Jomo (pronounced Joe-Moe, jerk) Lager is a staple of any growing wookie's diet, and responsible for many decisions of questionable merit.

Sick lineup, brah. See ya there. If you've got passes. F*ck a Gen. Pop.

Ask Trey

Ernest,

This is your lawyer. My secretary alerted me to this "column" where people ask you questions. Here's a couple off the top of head (in no particular order):

HEROIN?!?!?!?

What the f*ck on earth where you thinking?

Don't you remember that scene in The Godfather, where the heads of the Five Families are talking about "narcotics"?

Haven't enough of your heroes died or lived as shells of their former selves to freak you out a little?!?!?!?

Do you wanna look like this in a couple years?

Well, you may have no choice, 'cause it's gonna be a bitch (read: expensive; very expensive) to get rid of these charges, and that's the sort of get-up they'll have your skinny white ass in after about four days in the can.

Sound good?

- Sal Salamonianesto, Esq.

Sal,

Pebbles and Marbles, you know?


Trey Anastasio is the former guitar player for experimental-rock band Phish, and a junkie. His comments do not reflect the editorial stance of Wookiemania, or its parent company 1 For 3 | 2 For 5, LLC

Where's The Cadillac?

Holy Jesus.

Having no job can be, at times, its own reward. Then, on special days like today, Jesus himself reminds you that a full work day limits by a third the amount of time you would have to look at supermodels in small bathing suits...

...Or paint.

I promise you, dear reader, that I will not rest until I have seen every picture posted on the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition's super-special website. That, friend, is my job today.

Thank you Jesus.

And The Superficial for the tip.

Offer Good While Author Lasts

I'm well aware that as my stewardship of this blog as fallen by the wayside, readership may be trending in correlation. Just gonna throw this one out there to the newly anointed and the hardest of hardcore Wooksters, then:

I will be celebrating Valentine's Day in my bed this year, with about 10 hours of Sinatra and 100 pushups to get done. If anyone would like to add themselves to that list, you probably know how to get here.


Happy Valentine's Day, kids.

How Many Days?

100 Albums in 100 Days is now up and churning for your viewing pleasure.

Churn baby, churn - Wookie infern-ooooooooooo!

A New Hope

With no more job to stand in its author's way, one of the greatest blogs ever to owe its origins to both the owners of every lot's three-legged dog population and bass-playing extra-terrestrials, WOOKIEMANIA returns. For the fourth time.

What should you expect as a reader of WOOKIEMANIA? Well -

Interviews with celebrities!!!

Poetry!!!

Pictures of Christy Turlington from the early to late 90's!!!

Pictures of the author from the mid-oo's!!!

All of this without the use of his laptop's factory "Enter" key. For now.

This blog will no longer be featuring brunch reviews. Now that the author is jobless and soon to be extremely indigent, he can no longer afford, and thusly no longer wants to talk about foie-gras wrapped in seared Serrano ham served with a perfectly over-easy egg over homemade brioche. Thank you, Mas.

Thank you.

The rest -

I am going to try to listen to 100 albums in 100 days. More about that later.

The Nice Jenkins are poised to dominate the world. We're going to help them, right?

Go 'Skins.