Wait...Wait...

PRODUCER 1: OK, David - Weef got un $3,000 budget for your latest vi...

DH: "Whoa! I'm The Hoff! $3,000?!? That's a f*cking outrage. I was paid $5,000 just to lend my name to the Executive Producer credit of the Baywatch Pilot."

PRODUCER1: (Murmers back and forth with other producer. Lots of shrugging of shoulders) OK, David....

DH: "Call me 'The Hoff'."

PROCUDER2: "David zat's a li..."

DH: "The HOFF."

PRODUCER1: "...............Fine...Ze Hoff. We're willing to borrow anossa $500 from ze studio, but zat's more zen zey'll probably gif us."

DH: "The Hoff is listening."

PROCUDER1 &2: (Stunned)

DH: "Have, uh, you guys seen 'The Matrix'?"

PRODUCER1: "Yesen, Day...Mr. Ze Hoff. We haf seeen 'Ze May-tricksssss.'"

DH: Did you see, um, at the, uh, end when, uh, Neo is, like, totally flying?"

PRODUCER1: "Yesen, Mr. Ze Hoffff. We saw ze end off ze movie wheren Neo iz fly-ink."

DH: "I wanna do that."

PRODUCER1: "Zat will be hart on $3,500-ish, but we will fielm you in front of ze blu scren."

DH: "I wanna ride a motorcycle, too. But I, uh, I want to fly on it. Too."

PRODUCER2: "Fine."

DH: "I wanna snowboard, too. And eat a fish. While I'm f*cking snowboarding."

PRDOCUER2: "Fine."

DH: "I want angels. This video f*cking MEANS something, you know?"

PRODUCER2: "David, procu..."

DH: "THE HOFF! What don't you f*cking idiots understand?!? Do you know who I am? I'm The Mutha-F*ckin' H-to-tha-iz-off. God damn it. (To the secretary) Hey baby - why don't you, ah, bring The Hoff another one of those, um, drinky-do's, awright?"

SECRETARY: "You meen ze bourbon and haf-und-haf in ze peetcher?"

DH: "That's right. (Winks)"

Ladies and Gentlemen - Prepare to be "Hooked" on The Hoff.