"I'll have two bloody marys, please." Author receives bloodys, produces a 10.
"That'll be $14."
"But they're two for one, no?"
"Yeah, but that's per person."
Long stare by author.
Yesterday's brunch at The Lodge in Williamsburg was perfect.
Dare I say it, wooks and wookettes -
5 of 5.
The service was wonderful.
The waitress independently verified my suspicion that, yes, the hollandaise that morning was pushing past all specified means. The eggs were apparently poached not by mortals, but demigods whose sole mission on this, this Wasteland, is bene-fection.
The bloodys were spot on and 2 for 1.
All for $15.
The Lodge is, as of right now, the hands-down best brunch in the 5 boroughs.
The Lodge
318 Grand @ Havemeyer
Brooklyn, NY G-MAP
718.486.9400
Showing posts with label Brunch. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Brunch. Show all posts
9.24.2007
9.11.2007
The Law of Averages
Technically, there is nothing wrong with an average brunch. While a subpar bloody or bene' isn't as satisfying as a similar-quality pizza or roll in the proverbial hay with the proverbial farmer's daughter, the act of sharing a morning-ish meal with someone can ofter supersede good-enough-ish food.
SATURDAY
2:45AM
Author: Wow. This is probably the most sober I've been on a Friday night in, like, since I got here."
Evil Bad Person Who Made Me Do It: Yeah. I kinda wanna get drunk. Let's go get drunk.
Author: But I have to be up in the morning to feed the orphans before volunteering at the over-the-hill dogs for over-the-hill folks home in Trenton!!!
EBPWMMDI: C'mon.
Author: Right.
Needless to say, I woke up miles from my (new)(temporary) home in Bushwick (son!). Brunch being a meal best served close, we hit the streets for Alias.
Bloody: 2 of 5
Please don't think me a glutton or worse when I note that I expect my bloody in a pint glass with a real straw. One of the cocktail realm's truest triumphs, open to many brialliant interpretations, the bloody is an inherently messy beverage that needs the most direct delivery system possible. And it should be as big as possible.
This being said, I ordered the crustacean bloody which included an Old Bay'd rim, a shrimp or two on a skewer, lemon garnish and the "special blend of spices". Oh yeah - served in a water glass. Christ. What did they think? If their concoction had any real taste at all, they'd get a sucker like me to order 5 of them? Luckily it didn't.
Benedict: 2.5 of 5
Deviating from the classical standard in the land of Benedict is OK. There are rules one must understand before they can be broken:
WRONG.
Meat under one egg, stuff under the other. Let me again reiterate: WRONG.
Eggs were perfectly poached and the whole thing was served with a nice mixed greens salad. Still - WRONG.
Service: 2.5 of 5
Eh.
Waitress was semi-attentive. (It's still up for debate whether I ordered the coffee that came to me) Food came out fast enough. Took a little while to get the check.
Whatever.
Price: 2 of 5
$10 for the beney and $7 for the "special" bloody.
Would have been pretty excellent if they had sprung for, oh, I don't know - a whole meal and not one piece of ham and a cocktail in a Dixie cup. The place apparently has Cincinnati roots, but it didn't seem all that authentic...Must have been their omission of Cheetos from the menu.
Alias
76 Clinton St., New York, NY 10002
at Rivington St.
212-505-5011
LATER THIS WEEK: DR. CHEWBAKKA HEADS TO BEAR COUNTRY FOR BRUNCH ON SOME GIRL NAMED JANE. STAY TUNED.
SATURDAY
2:45AM
Author: Wow. This is probably the most sober I've been on a Friday night in, like, since I got here."
Evil Bad Person Who Made Me Do It: Yeah. I kinda wanna get drunk. Let's go get drunk.
Author: But I have to be up in the morning to feed the orphans before volunteering at the over-the-hill dogs for over-the-hill folks home in Trenton!!!
EBPWMMDI: C'mon.
Author: Right.
Needless to say, I woke up miles from my (new)(temporary) home in Bushwick (son!). Brunch being a meal best served close, we hit the streets for Alias.
Bloody: 2 of 5
Please don't think me a glutton or worse when I note that I expect my bloody in a pint glass with a real straw. One of the cocktail realm's truest triumphs, open to many brialliant interpretations, the bloody is an inherently messy beverage that needs the most direct delivery system possible. And it should be as big as possible.
This being said, I ordered the crustacean bloody which included an Old Bay'd rim, a shrimp or two on a skewer, lemon garnish and the "special blend of spices". Oh yeah - served in a water glass. Christ. What did they think? If their concoction had any real taste at all, they'd get a sucker like me to order 5 of them? Luckily it didn't.
Benedict: 2.5 of 5
Deviating from the classical standard in the land of Benedict is OK. There are rules one must understand before they can be broken:
- English muffin can be substituted for, but only by another bread-like product
- Canadian bacon can be substituted for, and here the rules are more lax - I've had excellent bene's featuring everything from crabcakes to smoked portabella mushrooms
- These two must be substituted for in a manner resembling the original Benedict structure
WRONG.
Meat under one egg, stuff under the other. Let me again reiterate: WRONG.
Eggs were perfectly poached and the whole thing was served with a nice mixed greens salad. Still - WRONG.
Service: 2.5 of 5
Eh.
Waitress was semi-attentive. (It's still up for debate whether I ordered the coffee that came to me) Food came out fast enough. Took a little while to get the check.
Whatever.
Price: 2 of 5
$10 for the beney and $7 for the "special" bloody.
Would have been pretty excellent if they had sprung for, oh, I don't know - a whole meal and not one piece of ham and a cocktail in a Dixie cup. The place apparently has Cincinnati roots, but it didn't seem all that authentic...Must have been their omission of Cheetos from the menu.
Alias
76 Clinton St., New York, NY 10002
at Rivington St.
212-505-5011
LATER THIS WEEK: DR. CHEWBAKKA HEADS TO BEAR COUNTRY FOR BRUNCH ON SOME GIRL NAMED JANE. STAY TUNED.
7.24.2007
Brunch Is Back, Son!
I'm bringin' this sh*t directly back to its roots.
Brunch.
New York City brunch to be exact. That's right, kids - The 'Mania has up and moved itself to Brooklyn and seeing as the editor-in-chief is currently employed, there will be brunch.
For those unfamiliar with the glory days of The 'Mania's brunch-stravaganza, the criteria are as follows: I eat eggs benedict, I drink a bloody mary and I observe. Simple. Used to be just on Sundays, but up here they gots brunch on Saturday, too!
Next, I relay my opinion on the benny, the bloody, the price, and the service on a .05-5.00 scale with no standard increment between. I may reference the experience of other diners, but since this is about the science of brunch, I maintain a control, me, allowing you, the reader, to expertly and accurately interpret posted results.
Shall we?
SATURDAY
Les Enfants Terribles
I will readily admit that I can be a pain in the colon to brunch with, for I hold certain truths to be self evident. For example - "Brunch is not brunch without bloody marys," is a good one. One day I may not order one. But until then, and even then, I demand the option. Thus, I had to strike down poor Mollywood's intitial spot for to do the brunching.
"Couldn't you just have a mimosa?"
So, around the corner we strolled to Les Enfants Terrible, a small Bistro bordering Chinatown on the LES that posts which type of mussels they will be serving in the evening. Bonus, right? The place was near dead, with one two tables inside and a couple folks at the bar.
BLOODY: (1.5 of 5)
Not based on the fact that we had to order it at the same time as our meal (service)
there was no love here. Spicy to overshadow the fact that the cocktail had no taste. Also, I believe it was made with Aristocrat vodka, which is akin to offering your uncle a drink and then karate chopping him in the throat. My companion took a hearty sip of hers and was done.
SERVICE: (1 of 5)
I will try and stretch this rant out over the course of many posts, but I have yet to get good service in New York. As mentioned before, the place was dead and the waitress didn't get our drink order first; she waited until we were all the way ready. Thanks.
She was cute, saving her the one point. Really cute actually.
Our drinks took a while, for which the bartender, I'm sure, shares the blame. He was a classic LES drink slinger - tall, skinny, clever (read: expensive) t-shirt, some form of mullet/rat tail, and general ennui for the whole "doing his job" thing.
Actually, you know what? The waitress was really cute. I'll give her another .5 for that.
The hummus we ordered as an appetizer came out at the same time as our bennys and steak and eggs.
BENNY: (4 of 5)
Pretty effing good. My companion likes her muffins toasted, which they weren't, but I'm pretty nonchalant about that. One egg was poached perfectly, while the other one was overdone. CAbacon was nice and thin. But the kicker were the taters and the greens. A whole mess o' full on Belgian-style frites, golden crispy, and a well dressed mesclun salad rounded out the sizable plate. The hummus stuff was ish - babbaganoosh (sp?), tapenade, hummus and salsa, and is not included in the score.
PRICE: (2.5 of 5)
Around $65 (with tax, no tip) for 2 bennys, steak frite, hummus plate, OJ, and 2 bloodys. No real sticker shock upon delivery, but then I remembered that poured my bloody using a $7.99/L bottle of Molotov cocktail and was unimpressed.
In summation, if I lived on the block and it was my super-different pal working behind the bar, I might go back for a lazy afternoon (I think they had TV), but it's not worth crossing the river for.
Les Enfants Terribles
37 Canal St. NY, NY 10002
212.777.7518
Cash or AmEx only
SATURDAY
The Lodge
This was not my first brunch at The Lodge. In fact, I've eaten brunch there, in the same seat served by the same waitress several times now.
It's a pretty great place for brunch. Essentially open air, the joint has a nice bar / waiting / couch area and plenty oold chairs to sit in and old tables to lean on. Some brunches lucky diners get to listen to PM Dawn-era early nineties slow jams, and mostly that all my emotions take take on a Sunday afternoon.
BLOODY: (5 of 5)
2 for 1.
Seriously.
Served in mason jars with a lemon (correct!) and a long toothpick of olives, the perfectly spicy, and on this occasion extra-Worcestershirey, bloodys have horseradish you can bite.
Did I mention that they're 2 for 1?
SERVICE: (2 of 5)
Did I mention I've had the same waitress a couple of times?
This bitch is lazy. Straight up. That or rude and stupid.
Two bloodys, two bennys. They came pretty quick via a runner. Asked him for a side of bacon. The waitress, busy blowing the cook for a fix? deciding what new clever tattoos look best of pale skin? never got the message. No effing bacon.
The hostess, who is lovely, saw that we had stacked our plates and brought the check. I feel bad about the 2, because the support staff is very good and very friendly.
BENNY: (4 of 5)
In between our waitress leaving us to take a shit and never coming back, the eggs were delightful. Both perfectly poached on a lightly toasted English muffin, with a nice slice of CAbacon in between. The potatoes were rosemary hashbrowns which probably come from a bag, but if so, the bag was dusted with happy memories and teddy bear hugs.
PRICE: (5 of 5)
2 bennys: $16
4 bloodys: $14
I'm always happy to pick up the check at Lodge brunch.
Overall a great experience, perfect for slungover people-watching, and it's only a bike ride from my place. A friend of a friend just started to wait there and he's a lifer, so maybe things are looking up. Heard dinner's pretty excellent, too.
The Lodge
318 Grand @ Havemeyer
Brooklyn, NY G-MAP
718.486.9400
Brunch.
New York City brunch to be exact. That's right, kids - The 'Mania has up and moved itself to Brooklyn and seeing as the editor-in-chief is currently employed, there will be brunch.
For those unfamiliar with the glory days of The 'Mania's brunch-stravaganza, the criteria are as follows: I eat eggs benedict, I drink a bloody mary and I observe. Simple. Used to be just on Sundays, but up here they gots brunch on Saturday, too!
Next, I relay my opinion on the benny, the bloody, the price, and the service on a .05-5.00 scale with no standard increment between. I may reference the experience of other diners, but since this is about the science of brunch, I maintain a control, me, allowing you, the reader, to expertly and accurately interpret posted results.
Shall we?
SATURDAY
Les Enfants Terribles
I will readily admit that I can be a pain in the colon to brunch with, for I hold certain truths to be self evident. For example - "Brunch is not brunch without bloody marys," is a good one. One day I may not order one. But until then, and even then, I demand the option. Thus, I had to strike down poor Mollywood's intitial spot for to do the brunching.
"Couldn't you just have a mimosa?"
So, around the corner we strolled to Les Enfants Terrible, a small Bistro bordering Chinatown on the LES that posts which type of mussels they will be serving in the evening. Bonus, right? The place was near dead, with one two tables inside and a couple folks at the bar.
BLOODY: (1.5 of 5)
Not based on the fact that we had to order it at the same time as our meal (service)
there was no love here. Spicy to overshadow the fact that the cocktail had no taste. Also, I believe it was made with Aristocrat vodka, which is akin to offering your uncle a drink and then karate chopping him in the throat. My companion took a hearty sip of hers and was done.
SERVICE: (1 of 5)
I will try and stretch this rant out over the course of many posts, but I have yet to get good service in New York. As mentioned before, the place was dead and the waitress didn't get our drink order first; she waited until we were all the way ready. Thanks.
She was cute, saving her the one point. Really cute actually.
Our drinks took a while, for which the bartender, I'm sure, shares the blame. He was a classic LES drink slinger - tall, skinny, clever (read: expensive) t-shirt, some form of mullet/rat tail, and general ennui for the whole "doing his job" thing.
Actually, you know what? The waitress was really cute. I'll give her another .5 for that.
The hummus we ordered as an appetizer came out at the same time as our bennys and steak and eggs.
BENNY: (4 of 5)
Pretty effing good. My companion likes her muffins toasted, which they weren't, but I'm pretty nonchalant about that. One egg was poached perfectly, while the other one was overdone. CAbacon was nice and thin. But the kicker were the taters and the greens. A whole mess o' full on Belgian-style frites, golden crispy, and a well dressed mesclun salad rounded out the sizable plate. The hummus stuff was ish - babbaganoosh (sp?), tapenade, hummus and salsa, and is not included in the score.
PRICE: (2.5 of 5)
Around $65 (with tax, no tip) for 2 bennys, steak frite, hummus plate, OJ, and 2 bloodys. No real sticker shock upon delivery, but then I remembered that poured my bloody using a $7.99/L bottle of Molotov cocktail and was unimpressed.
In summation, if I lived on the block and it was my super-different pal working behind the bar, I might go back for a lazy afternoon (I think they had TV), but it's not worth crossing the river for.
Les Enfants Terribles
37 Canal St. NY, NY 10002
212.777.7518
Cash or AmEx only
SATURDAY
The Lodge
This was not my first brunch at The Lodge. In fact, I've eaten brunch there, in the same seat served by the same waitress several times now.
It's a pretty great place for brunch. Essentially open air, the joint has a nice bar / waiting / couch area and plenty oold chairs to sit in and old tables to lean on. Some brunches lucky diners get to listen to PM Dawn-era early nineties slow jams, and mostly that all my emotions take take on a Sunday afternoon.
BLOODY: (5 of 5)
2 for 1.
Seriously.
Served in mason jars with a lemon (correct!) and a long toothpick of olives, the perfectly spicy, and on this occasion extra-Worcestershirey, bloodys have horseradish you can bite.
Did I mention that they're 2 for 1?
SERVICE: (2 of 5)
Did I mention I've had the same waitress a couple of times?
This bitch is lazy. Straight up. That or rude and stupid.
Two bloodys, two bennys. They came pretty quick via a runner. Asked him for a side of bacon. The waitress, busy blowing the cook for a fix? deciding what new clever tattoos look best of pale skin? never got the message. No effing bacon.
The hostess, who is lovely, saw that we had stacked our plates and brought the check. I feel bad about the 2, because the support staff is very good and very friendly.
BENNY: (4 of 5)
In between our waitress leaving us to take a shit and never coming back, the eggs were delightful. Both perfectly poached on a lightly toasted English muffin, with a nice slice of CAbacon in between. The potatoes were rosemary hashbrowns which probably come from a bag, but if so, the bag was dusted with happy memories and teddy bear hugs.
PRICE: (5 of 5)
2 bennys: $16
4 bloodys: $14
I'm always happy to pick up the check at Lodge brunch.
Overall a great experience, perfect for slungover people-watching, and it's only a bike ride from my place. A friend of a friend just started to wait there and he's a lifer, so maybe things are looking up. Heard dinner's pretty excellent, too.
The Lodge
318 Grand @ Havemeyer
Brooklyn, NY G-MAP
718.486.9400
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