"Hey, Brah - Didn't I See You Groovin' at The Spin Doctors Show?"

(NOTE: If you have named your dog after a Widespread Panic song, DO NOT READ THIS)

Widespread Panic is playing today at The Charlottesville Pavilion.

For the unannointed, Panic is the stupidest band in history. Like their Ohio-based brethren OAR, they regularly pack gigantic rooms with people who know nothing about good music.

Example - Your average Panic fan couldn't tell you the name of their favorite Beatles song. This is because they lack the chromosomes that allow the human ear to process songs with a melody, or anything but a moronic 4/4 beat.

Also - most of them can't stop drooling long enough to answer questions of any sort. Widespread fans are the people who can't understand Motown, offering you, with shock at anything but total compliance: "it's gay" (see: OAR fan). Are the lines getting clearer?

However, this means the Panic Wooks are in town, and you can only imagine the day to day-incompentence of these huddles of human flesh. Around 11:00PM this evening, I'll be leaving the show, (NOTE: of course I'm going...it's gonna be f*cking Mardi Gras...) walk one block over to what will be a piz-acked City Jail, sit outside on a bench, and let their beautiful wailing be the ear candle for the gigantic mound of sh*t resting deep in my ear canal.

"BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! HEADYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY"