Trey's Corner

Dear Trey,

Are you at all nervous about opening for The Rolling Stones in Charlottesville? There is a large concentration of wookies in that town, and I'm worried that it's a subspecies you may not be familiar with: the has-a-job-and-bathes-(occasionally)-and-really-wishes-you-hadn't-rotted-out-your-brain-and-replaced-it-with-the-notion-that-you-will-have-a-top-40-hit-whatever-that-means-nowadays wookie (wookius-bitterum). How do you think you'll be received?

-Mike, VT.

Dear Mike,

Thanks for the email. Glad to see I've still got some friends up there! Also - I appreciate your concern, but let me tell you - I know a thing or two about Charlottesville! My best friend Dave lives here, and his boss does, too. Actually, his boss is my boss now - kind of like that song, "The More We Work Together" you know? "...The Happier We'll Be..."? No?...rrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRR

F*ck it. I'm going on a bender, I'm going to carve up at least one or two classics on stage with the f*cking Stones, and I don't give a piss about the wookies, believe me, Mike. Have fun up there with Leo trying to tell freshman in Burlington that you were in Phish. I'm going back to the bus to look for...what?...hang on my cell phone just rang...

Ummm...my bass player forgot his bass, and it's the day before the gig and we need to practice...anybody got one? Really? Tell that kid Dee, or whatever his name is, that I really appreciate it.