7.07.2005

An Open Letter to The Secret Organization of Al-Qaeda in Europe

We here at WookieMania would like to express our condolences to those hurt or killed by the London Bombings that occured today.

Who the f*ck are these jokers? Get pick last in rock-throwing? Sorry, Akbar. If you hurry, you can still get into basket weaving, or The Secret Organization of Al-Qaeda in Europe.

While in the midst of penning an open letter to this Al-Qaeda AA farm team, Dr. von Slantenstein (who's dirge about the tragedy is as moving as I am covered in fur) sent this one from The London News Review over, and I believe it does a much better job of conveying our sentiment. Oy!
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?

"This is London. We've dealt with your sort before. You don't try and pull this on us.

"Do you have any idea how many times our city has been attacked? Whatever you're trying to do, it's not going to work.

"All you've done is end some of our lives, and ruin some more. How is that going to help you? You don't get rewarded for this kind of crap.

"And if, as your MO indicates, you're an al-Qaeda group, then you're out of your tiny minds.

"Because if this is a message to Tony Blair, we've got news for you. We don't much like our government ourselves, or what they do in our name. But, listen very clearly. We'll deal with that ourselves. We're London, and we've got our own way of doing things, and it doesn't involve tossing bombs around where innocent people are going about their lives.

"And that's because we're better than you. Everyone is better than you. Our city works. We rather like it. And we're going to go about our lives. We're going to take care of the lives you ruined. And then we're going to work. And we're going down the pub.

"So you can pack up your bombs, put them in your arseholes, and get the fuck out of our city."

United Kingdom, f*ck yeah.
God Save The Queen.

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