Brunch - Shebeen Better

I thought this brunch thing was getting easy.

The past two weeks have yielded a 4 of 5 (Mono Loco), and a 4.5 of 5 (Cassis). It's always nice when you find your work to be enjoyable. I do hope to maintain my relative anonymity, though I am realistic. It is rather difficult to do, what with the tallness and the fur.

This week's brunchscapdes occured at Shebeen, which is located in the corner lot of a shopping center near downtown Charlottesville. I traveled with Dr. von Slantensteiner, who was trying to recover from a night spent deciding whether to stand in the grass or the on walkway of our friend's front lawn. Having ended the evening without finding his balance, there was a tangible need for moral support. I think that I was there for him, but it's tough to tell. He's half-Indian.

We arrived and immediately sat at the bar, as we both wanted to get right to the point, and the bartendress was not unattractive. It would turn out that she had apparently traded a head of pretty blond hair and a very cute smile for the ability to hear what anyone was saying and an idea of what she was doing, but more on that later...

(Bloody: 2 of 5) Bland. Severed in a 12 - 16 oz. glass with a celery stalk and and two olives. The consistency was good but there was nothing distinct, or distinctly good, about it. There is, however, a play-doctor-with-your-bloody bar equipped with celery salts, horseradish, pepperocini, and almost any other accoutrement you could think of. This is a great idea, but I've got a better one - Make a better bloody, buddy. It's Sunday. I'm a tired little ball of fur at this point.

Water upon request.

(Benedict: 3.5 of 5) The benedict came relatively quickly and was presented wonderfully on a large plate with a piece of asparagus draped across each egg. The tarragon-hollandaise sauce was excellent, but there wasn't enough of it on the eggs, which were perfectly poached. Each was individually covered in the sauce, and there was none more, meaning the muffin didn't soak, leaving it a bit tough. Mi amigo got the Eggs Neptune, which substituted salmon for ham, and were quite delicious.

When we ordered from the above-mentioned waitress-turned-barkeep, she asked us what sides we wanted. F*ck that. See above mention of it being Sunday. Who knows if my choice of the pub potatoes where what made the beney less than a 5 of 5? Note to owner / manager: It's your restaurant. Figure out you are going to serve, call it your "menu", list it on a piece of paper, and serve it to your customers.

(Service: 3 of 5) It was the after-brunch that redeemed our little princess. Water was consistantly filled, ashtrays were emptied, and the check came promptly and without pressure. She was, at every turn, as polite as she could possibly br, but lacked experience and proper training to be a true brunchtender.

(Price: 1 of 5) $41.78 for two bloodys, two beneys (one was $2 more for salmon) and a $2.50 cup of coffee. Left $50.00 ($8.22 or 19.7%)

$10.95 for an Eggs Benedict is unacceptable. Thank god for my slowly-waning state of alertness, as $2.50 for drip coffee has certainly led to people's arms being ripped out of their sockets; wookies have been known to do that. There was nothing to munch on before the meal arrived, either. The bloody mary was only $6, but see above for its lack of spectacularness.

(Overall: 2 of 5) If you are looking for somewhere with good food, and good-enough service on a Sunday morning, Shebeen may be the place for you. Dr. S and I had planned to go to The Omni, but we were told brunch was over, and looked like a buffet, anyways. Buffets tend to upset wookies. Wookies then tend to upset buffets.

If you missed my first brunch review, please, don't think that the author would rather trash a sh*tty brunch than recommend a great one. I love brunch - but I am willing to sacrifice, so that you, gentle reader, might have better brunch in the days ahead.

The one thing that could have saved Shebeen from all of the above is a former member of None of The Above, my father, SuperKing of All Wookies. While the tremendous value that I find in eating out on a Sunday morning may seem foreign to him, I hope that he sees himself in every well-turned phrase I use to describe it.

Happy Father's Day, Dad. Next year, let's do brunch.

Sheeben South African Pub & Braai is located in the Vinegar Hill Shopping Center. (Click here for directions)
Phone: 434.296.3185
Website: www.shebeenpub.com