King of All Wookies vs. Head Honcho Hippie

So - Bob Lefsetz is a former entertainment industry lawyer and the author of The Lefsetz Letter. Should you follow the above link want to receive the letter, you will be sent a (sometimes twice) daily rant about / insider's look at the current state of the music industry. From Celebrity Access:

Bob Lefsetz, Santa Monica-based industry legend, is the author of the e-mail newsletter, "The Lefsetz Letter". Famous for being beholden to no one, and speaking the truth, Lefsetz addresses the issues that are at the core of the music business: downloading, copy protection, pricing and the music itself.

His intense brilliance captivates readers from Steven Tyler to Rick Nielsen to Bryan Adams to Quincy Jones to music business honchos like Michael Rapino, Randy Phillips, Don Ienner, Cliff Burnstein, Irving Azoff and Tom Freston.

I don't know about all of that fawning, unless "intense brilliance" is code for "ability and willingness to use UPPERCASE letters as his ONLY means of EMPHASIS.

I get the letter and read almost every one I get. Friday of last week, this little gem popped up in a letter about The Mars Volta.

"Fans want to be touched, fans want to be moved. And no
band (The Mars Volta) has reached its fans like this since...maybe the Grateful Dead.

"Oh, don't talk to me about Phish. Don't talk to me about the Dave Matthews Band. Those are frat rock bands. They're made for people wearing Timberlands, for people with money, having one last hurrah on Daddy's money before they've got to enter the real world. They don't have that one key element of rock and roll. Darkness." (Read the entire letter here)

What kind of monarch would I be if I didn't take personal offense to that statement? How could I peer through tufts of hair at myself in the mirror with anything but disgrace if I didn't stick up for my subjects? The King of All Wookies does not take being compared to a fan of The Dave Matthews Band by a bald hippie lying down*.

"...generalizing the Phish fanbase (incorrectly) has always been people's favorite way to come after them. Of course a good deal of the kids out there are on break from college, and dad's Amex is putting gas in the Grand Cherokee, there are far more wookies (the patchwork hippies) and young-corporate-types who, after spending thirteen of a possible fourty-five hours a week at the office emailing and reading message boards, could manage to turn two days off anda weekend into five nights of music." ( Read all responses here)

Yo, Bob - You ain't never been to Deer Creek, don't ever come to Deer Creek.


*The entire response was featured in a list-only email, and does not appear on the Lefsetz Archive Page.