Brunch - Trio Loco

To eat inside or outside? This pretty big quesiton looms weekly as we enter the summertime brunch season, which I decided to start at Mono Loco. Both Friday and Saturday evenings had been action-packed, so it was with short tempers and extremely empty stomachs that my party arrived around 1:45 and chose the air-conditioned inside to the umbrella-protected patio.

(Bloodys: 3 of 5) NOTE: Saying that you don't have Stolichnaya is akin to pissing into a customer's ear. This being said, brunch was not off to a good start. Water was poured immediately. Pro.

Arriving in a pint glass with a gigantic celery stalk, the presentation was right on. The menu promised a special mix of "tomato juice and chili sauce" but fell short with a rather bland concoction that was way heavy on the pepper. So heavy that I had to reposition my straw several times to unclog the mess. The addition of a lemon wedge definitely improved the mix. Could have used more Worcestershire and a bit more horseradish.

(Eggs Benedict: NA / Food: 4.5 of 5) The only thing holding me back from giving a perfect score here is the lack of benedict. I mean, jesus titty f*cking christ...this isn't Afghanistan. I don't care what sort of "thing" you're going for at your place (Mono Loco is doing...um...Cuban?), you have poached eggs, you have hollandaise, and you have english muffins. It's called Sunday. You just do it.

This being said, my meal was EXCELLENT. The head chef sent out a plate of fried oysters on the half shell. One a piece - just enough fried food to get the stomach ready to really eat. The food couldn't have taken more than 10 minutes to get to us, and when it did...I had the shrimp and chili-powder biscuits. Just enough spice (no heartburn for the remainder of the day) in the sauce and the biscuits themselves. Now this was a clever way to separate yourself from the fray. Take a classic and turn it on it's head (see above).

(Desert: N/A) Let's just officially discontinue this.

(Service: 4 of 5) Our waiter was prompt and his work was augmented by two other waitresses. Our food was taken as soon as we finished and not a moment before. No pressure at any time, we lounged until 3:15 and were never made to feel unwelcome. The bartender was extremely friendly and helpful in my search for lemons.

Why not a 5, then? Because the two waitresses were gorgeous and we got stuck with the dude. You just gotta plan better. Gotta.

(Price: 3.5 of 5) $78US for 6 bloodys and three entrees. $8 is excessive for a bloody mary, but the food was right on. Actually left less than 20%, only because the wallet is runnin' a little close to E these days, folks. If the waiter / waitresses from the Loco ever read this - I know it doesn't mean sh*t, but I should have left more. I'm sorry. (On to step 10, right George?)

(Overall: 4 of 5) Within moments of arriving, the music was too loud, we were told there was no Stoli, and we didn't see Benedict on the menu. Things looked real bad. I was with a wookie who is on record as being unafraid to scoot on a brunch, belive me. However, all of the above began to settle in, half of the Nocturnal Transmissions rolled in, and a wonderful brunch began. As the staff is mostly new, Chewbakka say: Congratulations on a fine turnaround.

Mono Loco is located on the corner of Water St. and First St. in Downtown Charlottesville.
Phone: (434) 979-0688